Mar 4, 2020

Art for Soulful Comfort

Since I began painting full-time it's been my dream to create a book with my poetry, essays and art pieces to give comfort to those living with anxiety, depression or PTSD.

If you've suffered through anxiety or panic attacks, the memory itself of these attacks sometimes stays with you for days. I was 10 years old when I first experienced a panic attack. It rocked my world.

One afternoon I suddenly began to feel dizzy and this message in my mind told me I was going to die. Adrenaline hit my system and I began to shake and broke out in a cold sweat. In my panic I ran out of my room and started screaming for my grandmother (whom I was staying with at the time).

What triggered this panic attack?

My guess is that after weeks of not seeing my parents and sister (who were in San Antonio because she had just suffered a stroke) fears and anxiety took over. I was very young and no one in my family understood my symptoms. I barely ate and slept. I was lucky I had my grandmother because she became my surrogate mom. This was the late 1970s and there weren't many health programs to treat depression and anxiety in children.

“If left unchecked, anxiety and depression can lead to almost a lifetime of misery. I didn't control mine until I was well in my late 30s and they re-surfaced when I was diagnosed with breast cancer a few years ago. By then I already knew what to do and where to get help. ”

You have to find the source of your problem and be honest about why it started in the first place and find a solution. Doesn't matter how many years it takes for you to heal. I knew the source of my anxiety and depression: we had uprooted from a town on the border where I felt happy and safe, had my family and I was about to start middle school. Then we moved to San Antonio so my sister could get the best physical therapy possible. Mom and dad sold everything they owned. The cultural shock of moving to a huge city was overwhelming. Those were dark days for us as a family. A few months after my sister turned 12, she died from complications of MoyaMoya. Claudia took a piece of our hearts with her because she was the light and joy of our family. I see her in my dreams often.

How did Art help me?

After my experience with cancer, I turned to art on a full-time basis. I took art classes at the university where I had graduated a few years earlier and I experimented with various techniques. If I'm having a difficult day, I turn to my art books and music because it's therapy for me. Through colors and soulful themes, art brought beauty into my soul. It engaged my brain and heart to balance the dysfunction I was feeling for so many years. Abstract art was an outlet where I could paint outside the lines (so to speak) with no rules. It was so liberating painting my emotions on canvas!

My first art commission client was my mom and it took me a month to finish it. This effort gave me enough confidence to continue painting. I can't imagine my life without art. And now poetry! I'm writing again and I have a Muse (he's exceptional). I want to share whatever talent I have through my book and that it will bring a smile to your face if you're having a difficult day. I've also been thinking of continuing to do charity work through my art. My life's journey has a purpose so it continues.....